Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Mourning in America

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As if the people in Roseburg, Oregon haven't suffered enough, Barack Obama and the Westboro Baptist Church both plan to descend on the community to push their personal political agendas.

The people of Roseburg aren't happy about the president coming because of his seeming inability to tell the difference between a coffin and a soapbox. And no one is ever happy to see the morally repugnant Westboro Baptists, especially in light of their gloating tweets that "God sent the shooter." A sentiment, by the way, which the president had previously suggested about the Almighty in the case of the Charleston, SC church shootings.

Hope n' Change has already said a lot about Barack Obama's reprehensible politicking, and has no need to comment on the Westboro Baptists other than to say that, despite our personal lack of religious affiliation, we hope there is a Hell so that they can burn in it.

Unlike the spotlight grabbers named above, there's actually a respectful way for real Americans to show their concern for the families who lost loved ones at Umpqua Community College. Visit this GoFundMe site to donate a few dollars and leave a few thoughts (non-political, please) to let the good people of Roseburg know that we care and share their terrible loss.


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The good folks at (a super-duper online spelling and grammar checking service) have done another study comparing the online writings of Democrats and Republicans to see which group has the greater "richness" of language (defined as the greatest number of unique words in online postings).

Their results: Democratic supporters' vocabularies were 22.4% richer than their Republican counterparts. But why?

We're guessing it's because Democrats have been force fed a continually evolving (indeed, metastasizing) word salad from their ideological leaders. Put another way, if brevity is the soul of wit, obfuscation is the soul of liberalism.

What we call "terrorism," they call "man-caused disaster." What we call "abortion," they call "women's healthcare services." What we call "war," they call "overseas kinetic military action." What we call "illegal aliens" they call "undocumented workers and dreamers willing to do the jobs that Americans won't do."  And of course, what we call "freedom," they call a "vast Right-wing conspiracy to suppress women and minorities while promoting income inequality."

So the results of the "vocabulary richness" study strike us as interesting but unsurprising. In the end, it's not the quality of language but the quality of ideas which really matters. And the notion that Democrats might win that competition? Now that's rich.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Blasts from the Past

During his weekend press conference, Barack Obama doubled down on his demands for gun control following the tragic shootings in Oregon. But when pressed for specifics, he unsurprisingly doesn't offer any of the "common sense" ideas which he claims would solve the problem of mass shootings.

Rather, he says he'll just "talk about" the issue hoping to effect "political change." In other words, he has no ideas and cares nothing about either lives or gun control, but cares a lot about further dividing Americans in time for next year's elections.

Need further proof? Then consider the fact that Obama has had over 6 years to present his "common sense" ideas, and instead he's given us this...


One of the previous ways Mr. Common Sense wanted to curtail gun violence was by having the DOJ give guns to Mexican drug cartels and then track what happened.  Unsurprisingly, it turns out that the guns were used to kill hundreds of people, including U.S. border agent Brian Terry.

Also, following the Sandy Hook shootings, Obama tasked his most trusted associate with the job of coming up with bold, innovative new "common sense" gun control policies. Not that we actually remember him producing any...

No, wait - Shotgun Joe did finally come up with a "common sense" idea to end mass shootings! And this was it...

Of course, waiting for non-violent videogames to change our culture is a slow process, which is why the Obama administration needed to posit ways for people to protect themselves in classrooms and offices without using guns...

That's right. Homeland Security actually released a video asserting that scissors, staplers, and tape dispensers all made perfectly dandy defensive weapons. Which makes us wonder why Obama isn't currently whining about "common sense" regulations to control dangerous office supplies.

Then in 2014, Eric Holder pitched another "simple" idea which only Rube Goldberg could love...

Clearly, the Obama administration has had plenty of time to come up with "common sense ideas," but has failed miserably to do so. Because, as is the case with most issues this president has faced, actual solutions are less useful politically than keeping the problems alive as devisive wedge issues.

But on the positive side, Hope n' Change will note that even our current gun regulations, while not perfect, at least weed out the obvious lunatics...


Friday, October 2, 2015

Russian His Swing

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Well that didn't take long. Following a one-on-one meeting at the U.N. which gave Vladimir Putin the ability to measure the degree to which Barack Obama is a mewling pantywaist, the Russian dictator launched a surprise attack in Syria (after graciously ordering the United States to get the hell out of the way) on the anti-Assad rebels being funded and trained by the CIA.

That's right - Putin is bombing the crap out of our few surviving allies in the region, and so far the only response from Washington (via an oddly twitchy John Kerry during a live conference at which his Russian counterpart referred to him as "Joan") was to say that our country appreciates the Russians' "help" in fighting ISIS but, um, considering they're not dropping their bombs anywhere near ISIS, we should have a meeting - sometime soon! Maybe even tomorrow! - to see if we can come to some sort of agreement on their choice of targets.

As a brilliant political analyst pointed out a long time ago (okay, it was Hope n' Change on Wednesday), Putin has now made it official and uncontestable that the United States is no longer in the superpower business. We have lost our place in the world order thanks to the massive incompetence (not to mention intentional malfeasance) of the Obama administration - including former Secretary of Scapegoating Hillary "reset button" Clinton.

It's hard to overstate the danger of this current moment, as Putin has maneuvered Barack Obama into the position of having only two options: to back down entirely or to answer Russia's challenge aggressively. The first option leaves the world stage in complete disarray (with Russia, Iran, China, North Korea and others picking up the pieces), and the second option invites a dangerous game of brinksmanship.

A game in which, sadly, the United States is now clearly the JV team.

BONUS: From The Vaults...

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At the time of this writing on Thursday evening, very little is known about the sick sonofabitch who shot up a community college in Oregon (which had no armed security), snuffing out lives and dreams before the police blew him to Hell (we hope literally).

We know that the shooter (whose name we won't repeat here) was 26 years old, not a student at the college, and there are reports that he was forcing his victims to state their religion: Christians got a bullet to the head, everyone else was shot in the legs.

Only hours after the shooting, Barack Obama took to the airways to - in his own words - politicize this appalling tragedy. And for once he was telling the truth, saying that when voters go to the polls, they need to keep in mind that voting for a certain political party was essentially a vote for continuing mass murder.

Really, Barry? Is THAT your healing message for a wounded nation?!

The president lied his ass off asserting that America basically lacks any real regulation of guns at all, and claiming that no other developed nation on Earth has problems with mass shootings - a statement which would make for a pretty good satire at Charlie Hebdo if the writers and artists hadn't been massacred by zealots from Obama's favorite religion of Peace.

The president then challenged reporters to print stories comparing the number of Americans killed by terror to the number killed by gun violence - a "twofer" for the president which allows him to use still-fresh murders for his own political ends while also giving cover to radical Islamic terror.

But here's a question for you, B. Hussein - when the papers print those body counts, how often do you think the one day total for gun violence will exceed the thousands of Americans who died on a single day in September back in 2001?

Obama lectured our stupid, stupid country on our failure to control guns when it comes to mass shootings, but never mentioned the fact that in his home town of Chicago 50 people were shot over the weekend. Which happens to be the case pretty much every goddamn weekend.

So here's an idea, Barry. Why don't you take your brilliant "common sense" proposals to remove guns from the hands of criminals and lunatics and apply it to Chicago so we can see how beautifully it works? If it's a terrific success, then you can apply those same regulations nationwide to usher in a new era of idyllic peace and, as a bonus, Hope n' Change will personally kiss your ass on the White House lawn.

But if it's not, well, at least you accomplished your real goal in addressing the nation tonight: using the blood of innocents to distract the media from your foreign policy fiascos and your complete failure as a leader.