Friday, July 1, 2016

Voting In Favor of "Breaks It"

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, trump, endorsement, hillary, election, benghazi
All we are saying is give pieces a chance.
UK voters stunned the world by shaking things up with their vote for "Brexit." Here in the United States, we'll soon be given the opportunity to vote for Donald Trump - and we think the odds are that if he's given control of our government, he breaks it.

And we're all for it.

This isn't exactly a ringing endorsement of Donald Trump, whom we still think is a loudmouthed boob with sketchy, unworkable ideas and nary a conservative bone in his body. Rather, this is Hope n' Change's declaration of complete and utter revulsion at everything going on in our government, and our long withheld concession that Donald Trump could not possibly - even in complete and utter failure - be as bad for our nation as Hillary Clinton and a continuation of the current insidious, invidious, incestuous anti-American status quo which has rendered our government a dysfunctional mess.

Look at recent news stories. A wildly out of control Supreme Court made abortion easier in the name of women's health, while oxymoronically declaring that it would be unduly burdensome for abortion clinics to meet minimum medical standards to cope with emergencies. The same Supreme Court put their stamp of approval on discriminating against people based on the color of their skin as long as there are "intangible" reasons which the Court finds politically pleasing rather than constitutionally grounded. If Hillary Clinton nominates one or more Justice with liberal ideology, we can kiss the 1st, 2nd, and 5th Amendments goodbye.

Meanwhile, Attorney General Loretta Lynch and DNA-oozing slimeball Bill Clinton "just happened" to get together for a cozy private chat, and claimed that they talked cheerily about grandchildren rather than the ongoing investigation into Hillary's numerous, well-documented crimes. Hope n' Change isn't buying it, and is more inclined to categorize this conversation as overt collusion.

Nor do we think Ms. Lynch's assertion that fighting terror by showing "love and unity" for the jihadists would have prevented the carnage three suicide bombers caused in Turkey. These miscreants don't need a hug, they need a slug - delivered at high velocity and of the largest caliber possible. Nor will "love and unity" prevent the next attack on Americans, or the ones which will surely follow.

And speaking of attacks on Americans, it is the public and political reaction to the final report on the Benghazi fiasco which has finally pushed Hope n' Change over the breaking point and into the Trump camp (albeit kicking and screaming).

There's plenty to complain about, but let's narrow our focus to one critical finding which no one on the Left cares about: the president and Secretary of State of the United States lied repeatedly about the cause and nature of a terror attack which killed Americans, and did so solely for their own political benefit.

Barack Obama lied to protect his campaign slogan: "GM is alive, Bin Laden is dead, and Al Qaeda is on the run." And just to ice the cake, he took this lie to the United Nations where he attacked American freedom of speech as a messy inconvenience, and further stated "the future must not belong to those who would slander the prophet of Islam."

Hillary also pushed the Youtube lie, to shield her own presidential aspirations from the fallout over her disastrous policies in the Middle East (creating an instability which nurtured the rise of ISIS) and complete failure as Secretary of State to do anything other than rack up frequent flier miles, collect tiny bottles of booze in-flight, and open our nation's secrets to hackers while selling influence to the highest international bidders.

But when presented with evidence of her gross wrongdoing, Hillary looked with dead eyes straight into the news cameras and said (for the umpteenth time, over the umpteenth scandal) it's time to "move on."  Ignore the flag-draped coffins, folks, there's nothing to see here. The woman is like a snake who can unhinge her jaw to cold-bloodedly consume her prey, no matter how large and seemingly hard to swallow.

Meanwhile in Washington, bipartisan funding to fight the nightmarish Zika virus was blocked at the last minute by Harry Reid because the funds would go to mosquito control efforts, hospitals, and health clinics...but not Planned Parenthood. And the Democrats would rather see mothers wracked with pain and illness, and children born with microcephaly, rather than deny taxpayer dollars to abortion mills which, in time-honored quid pro quo fashion, "donate" a percentage of their grant money back to Democrat election campaigns. Your blood-stained tax dollars at work.

And in breaking news, the Pentagon has just announced new rules for embracing transgendered soldiers. And, no doubt, mounting a multi-billion dollar program to provide them with more inclusive latrines even while budgets for actual national defense are cut and cut again.

Enough already. This has got to stop. Choose whatever metaphor you like, but it's time for a bull in the china shop, a hand grenade under the tent flap, or the biggest possible monkey wrench we can jam into the spinning gears of government.

Hope n' Change doesn't believe Trump will really deport millions of illegal immigrants, or stop Muslim immigration into the country. We don't believe his "America first" trade policies will work (in fact, we think they'd cause a reduction in the American standard of living and wreak economic chaos). We're not even sure he can build his fabled wall, let alone get Mexico to pay for it.

But we also don't believe that Trump wants to destroy important American values. We don't think he's corrupt. We don't think he's evil. We don't think he's owned by special interests. And we don't think he's lying about loving this country, its citizens, or his desire to make America great again.

A continuation of Barack Obama's policies and liberal appointments to the Supreme Court will, we believe, be the death blow to an America that really was great...and which still has a scintilla of a chance of being great again.

Donald Trump is potentially a yuuuuge disrupter at a time when our political system needs huge disruption. Our nation would be far more likely to survive his probable policy failures than even a single term of Hillary Clinton's toxic policy successes.

Which is why we plan to cast a "Breaks It" vote for Trump in November. There is a lot that needs breaking.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Conflagration Prize

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, hillary, benghazi, final report
Progressives are happily dancing atop the graves of our Benghazi dead following the final House Select Committee 800-page report on what went wrong and who is to blame.

In a nutshell, it seems that everything went wrong, and the entire incident was the almost unavoidable outcome of policy failures, bureaucratic mismanagement and miscommunication, dismal understanding of the situation in Libya, gross underestimation of necessary security to protect Americans, and general fumbduckery. Meaning that no one - especially Hillary in the Left's estimation - is to blame because the entire system failed at every level.

For Progressives, this means that Hillary is now cleared and qualified to become president of the United States, an office from which she can give every citizen the same level of protection she provided for the fallen in Benghazi.

Interestingly, the report makes clear that pretty much everyone in the Obama administration, including Hillary, lied their pants (or pantsuits) off about what actually happened - choosing to promote their entirely bogus "Youtube demonstration" story in order to not distract Americans in an election year with the troublesome truth that the war on terror hadn't really ended with Bin Laden's death. Hillary Clinton knowingly lied to the victims' families when she told them that the videomaker would be brought to justice, and subsequently lied when she accused those still-grieving family members of being liars themselves for failing to cover her polyestered rear end.

Democrats on the investigative panel issued their own version of the report, declaring that the whole Republican-led investigation was a political sham intended only to sully a presidential candidate's reputation, which is an unacceptably sleazy and partisan thing to do. The Democrat report then somehow inserts 23 negative references to Donald Trump, which is apparently an acceptably sleazy and partisan way to sully a candidate's reputation.

While it would seem that the fat lady has sung, or in this case cackled, on the sad subject of Benghazi, Hillary was in no way exonerated. The full report notes that the record of Hillary's actions or inactions will never be complete owing to her use of the infamous, secret private server and deletion of tens of thousands of emails.

Which, unlike the fatal miscalculations made about embassy security, shows impressive foresight on her part.

FLASHBACK: PROPHET AND LOSS STATEMENT (9/26/2012) - Obama uses Benghazi deaths to defend Islam and attack the 1st Amendment at the United Nations.

Monday, June 27, 2016

The Price of Weeking Off

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, brexit, trump, hillary, email, supreme court, discrimination, terror, staycation, vacation

Well that was silly.  Hope n' Change tried to take a restful but productive week off, but instead we ended up posting as many cartoons as usual (just check out the "Staycation" post below) while the world enthusiastically went foam-drooling, "bibbidy-bibbidy-bibbidy" lip-diddling, howling at the moon crazy.

And on the personal front, 98% of the things we'd intended to do last week didn't get done. It seems we stink at time management as badly as we stink at taking time off.

Regarding the stories du jour, we don't have a lot to say about Brexit because A) we don't know much about all the details and B) it's our understanding that not much of a change will actually take place for a couple of years, other than C) our retirement savings getting kicked where it hurts (without benefit of an athletic cup) last Friday.

Donald Trump gave a major speech about how much Hillary Clinton stinks as a candidate and as a human being, which we enthusiastically agree with, and kicked off LyingCrookedHillary.com, making us wish we'd had the foresight to buy the domain name first. We do, however, own the domain name for DoucheNozzles.com - which we might convert into a Hillary site in the coming days.

There's not much need for us to discuss Hillary's email situation other than to say that scads of newly incriminating evidence seem to arise every day, but DOJ doyenne Loretta Lynch is so busy with her "Show ISIS Some Love" campaign there's no chance she'll file charges against the woman who gave our nation's enemies about 1000 times more secret information than Benedict Arnold did.  (For those of you too young to have learned about Benedict Arnold, he gave away our secret of topping poached eggs with hollandaise sauce. )

The Supreme Court did a good thing by ruling that Obama absolutely exceeded his legal authority (ie, broke the freakin' law) by stuffing our country with potentially disease-ridden illegal immigrants who are doing the important missionary work of bringing Shariah Law and sporadic bursts of terror to our shores. Of course, we'd be more impressed by the ruling if it forced Obama to do anything differently - but the SOB knows that Republicans aren't going to seriously challenge him on immigration during this election year. Or any of the other seven years he's been getting away with this lunacy.

The Supreme Court also declared that if there's no other way on God's green earth to legitimately get a black kid into a college, it's okay to discriminate against (and perhaps viciously beat with an ax handle) anyone who has white or yellow skin, as well as those potential students with brown skin if they're Indian or Pakistani instead of an illegal Latino.  Apparently, the Supreme Court's definition of "diversity" is "a rich mix of those who have earned their position, and those who are absolutely clueless but are useful stereotypes." Which is, now that we think of it, a pretty accurate description of the Supreme Court itself.

And with that being said, Hope n' Change court is officially back in session.